This is the FINAL COUNTDOWN!

 

doo doo dooo dooooo do do do do do.

So. LESS THAN TWO WEEKS. it’s been very…surreal. is that the right word? I’m getting more and more scared to move, but I’m still excited. I’m excited for a new adventure with my new husband. I’m excited for us to make our own memories that we will be able to tell our kids and our grandkids about the first time I moved away from home.

Tomorrow is my last day at work. I have worked there for just short of 4 years. and I actually like that job. even though it’s been really really tough at times, I’ve always enjoyed being there. The ladies (and guys) have always been so good to me and watched out for me and just taken care of me. It’s going to be hard on me, I know it. They had a going away luncheon for me the other day but I refused to tell anyone bye because I didn’t want to cry. instead I got in the car and cried the whole way home. Later that night, husband’s job had a going away party and even though I don’t even know but like 2 of them, I got really sad at one point and had to walk outside to keep from crying. it’s wasn’t until we are leaving that we realized how many people actually like and care for us. While it’s not the same people we used to hang out with, it was a whole new group of people we just kind of didn’t think about. and now it’s a little too late.

you really find out who your real friends are when you move. when I left Ohio I found out that I had 4 girls who stayed my friend/became good friends with me after I moved. and then oddly enough, my ex and I became good friends again. but not a single person I had hung out with on a daily basis talked to me again for almost 5 years. That’s all a big messy sad story on it’s own. Something I regretted for many years, but it’s paid off now.

Anyways, with us moving right now, we are really seeing who actually cares to see us before we go. the people who are actually making an effort along with us to see each other. the people who are like “oh yeah lets hang out” but they never bother to answer or help figure out a time. So, we have been hanging out with the people who matter most. the people who care to see us. it’s a sad and harsh reality, but such is growing up.

for now, as I sit here in this boxed up room with 23 years of memories in boxes, I feel like this is a fresh start. a terrifying, stressful, fresh start. I am going to believe that it is the right thing we have chose to do and that in the end it will all work out for the best. I am teetering on the edge of not caring and crying my eyes out, and yet I feel so at peace. I know this is the right thing for us to do right now in our lives. I know we have each other and family who support us. I just feel like I’m getting in over my head. I guess we’ll see. goodnight all. I’ll write my view on the book “the help” tomorrow.

<3